You walk past some couples. And lots of them. Cute ones too.
They are hugging. Kissing. Holding hands. Talking.
You take a look at them. Your friend notices, and asks if you are allright.
You say yes.
But inside you're not.
Inside you are crying.
Why can't i have a boy to myself? Why can't i be cared for? Am i not pretty enough?
You start picking at yourself.
You start to tear yourself down.
You get really self-conscious.
You feel like you aren't good enough.
Your friend asks again if you are allright.
You lie again, and say yes.
You hold your feelings inside yourself.
The tardy bell rings, so you scury away from your friends and rush to class.
You walk into your class and of course you see more couples.
Almost everyone is holding someone else's hand.
Here goes the picking again.
You are crying inside.
You take your seat and take out your notebook. You start to doodle hearts and stars, and whatever else you feel like.
The kid sitting next to you says, "Cool drawings!"
That makes you happy. Untill you see him turn around to his friend and say, "Hey, did you see how hot 'so and so' looked today?!"
Then you tear yourself down again.
The teacher teaches the class.
The bell rings.
You bolt out of your seat, but it takes forever to get out of the classroom, because of the impatient teenagers.
You finally get out the door, and all you see is couples. Kissing again.
You make your way through the crowd of couples and see your best friends.
That cheers you up a little.
You talk to your friends about every topic imaginable.
Then the bell rings again, and you scury to class again.
More couples in your class.
You tear yourself down even more.
You say a prayer to help you make it through the day without completely destroying your esteem.
The bell rings again.
You do the same thing all over again.
Untill the bell rings again for your next class. You have seminary.
That makes you smile a little.
You get to seminary and as you enter the room, people say hello. Boys too. Cute ones.
You talk about self worth. And you start to feel better.
You leave class and start to head to your friends car so that you can get home.
You are driving home and you look out the window.
Blue skys, white clouds, bright sun, and green trees. Leaves falling.
Thats when you remember that tomorrow is another day. Thats when you remember that your only 15. Thats when you remember that you have your whole life to find love. Thats when you realize that most of those couples that you say that day, will probably only last a week or so, and then they will be over. Its when you realize that most of the guys in there are probably not even worth your time. Its when you realize that you are worth the world. You deserve a guy who cares. Not for sex. Not for hottness. But who truely cares about you. You realize that you will find someone one day that will love you for you. And you will be married in the temple. And be sealed. You will be together forever. Thats when you realize that love is worth the wait. It will come one day, and you will be okay.
And knowing that, makes you smile.
Love is worth the wait. And that i knw for sure. And a successful temple marriage is my dream. I will get it one day. I will fall madly in love with my prince charming, and we will be together forever.
All i have to do, is wait...